Since I started journaling, I’ve had some really interesting insights into my mind. This morning, waking up early (before 4am), I wrote again. Any thought that comes up is written down, no judgment, just a “stream of consciousness”. Today, I wrote about people that I cared for, deeply, in the past. And I realized: I’m so not over them. They are still with me in my thoughts, a lot. And I still miss them so much.
Usually, I wouldn’t allow myself to admit that. Burying these thoughts and emotions was a survival strategy. But now, what do I do? The past is gone, it isn’t coming back. And still, in the present, I still have thoughts like “I’m cutting my hair again, would they like it?”, “would they be proud of me now?” and “would they approve of my choices?”.
How can I mourn and then be done with it?